Where's Connie?

Well, merry Christmas, and happy New Year to ya'll from mild, rainy NC! Sorry I disappeared there for a while... I would like to say I got whisked away by Peter Pan, but the truth is that any creative energy in me - physical and mental - has been used up daily for the past two weeks on a huge cross-stitch project that I finally finished yesterday. Took me 11 months to finish it, and I am super proud of it! I'll post a picture of it later.

Besides the project, I've enjoyed time with my family in Winston-Salem over the holiday, as well as a few precious hometown friends. Spent some significant time in Greensboro, too - got to meet Pastor Meng Pu's sister and family in their tiny humble apartment, had a great lunch meeting with the new I-Teams area director at Four Seasons Mall, and joined Kevan for weekly potluck and concerts with his community of Christian musician friends in the Glenwood neighborhood. All around, a relaxing and enjoyable trip home.

Before all that, the Hobbits (and cousins from the Nunnery) had a big holiday feast together, with a 20-pound turkey and all sorts of delicacies to accompany it. Then we went to Valparaiso and watched The Hobbit (part 2) together, and got snowed in at Brie's parents' home. The next day we took our Hannah to the airport for her big trip to Uganda, and picked up my mom to take her back to Fort Wayne. That night when we arrived back at the Hobbit Hole, we had to get our manly neighbors to shovel us in, because our alley, driveway, and ramp were piled eight inches high with snow! The next day, after my international Sunday school Christmas party, Mom and I drove down south.

I had planned to leave yesterday to get back to the Hobbit Hole, but then "Snowpocalypse 2014" attacked the Midwest, and with predictions of more than a foot of snow and negative degree temperatures and deadly wind chills, I decided to stay put for a few more days. Kevan and Richard have promised to take me out for an authentic crepes dinner this week to make the delay worth it, and I'm pretty sure they won't disappoint me.

So that's where I've been and where I am! I'll take a couple days to reflect on the past year and look forward to the next, so stay tuned!

My dream come true!

Mile log: 628  

I remember the feeling I had when I went to mission camp in high school - having an awesome week of crazy work, crazy ministry, crazy fellowship, and crazy spiritual growth, not wanting to leave, and crying when I had to say goodbye. I remember those long rides home, and how I tried to write down every detail so as not to forget, and how I prayed and wrestled with God about how much I wanted to live my life the way it was at camp... and how I thought it was impossible. There's no way life could look that incredible - I could only really call it "larger than life." But I have been hoping for it ever since... and praise God, in the past twelve years He's given me pieces and glimpses of that in many ways. 

This week, Kevan and Dad brought a group of teens from my home church, Triad Christian Fellowship, in NC, for a week of ministry with us here in Fort Wayne. "The Homestead" proved to be a perfect set up for this adventure - ten guys in the Lake House, and seven ladies in the Hobbit Hole! Talk about busy! We spent every morning at the Lake House having breakfast, Bible study, cross-cultural ministry training, and lunch... with the occasional push-ups work-out and loud sing-along. The afternoons were spent out in the community serving neighbors and friends, and then at the Hobbit Hole planning and preparing for the evening youth program at I-House. Basically, the Homestead Team wanted to bring these young people from NC alongside us in ministry, to share in what we get to do, and to help us with a new phase of our vision that we needed extra hands and feet (and brains) to accomplish.

Yesterday after breakfast, as I looked around the table, I realized this is my dream come true - and I didn't even realize it was my dream until it came true this week. You see, on those long car rides home from camp in high school, I let myself dream big. Here are some of my dreaming questions, and how they have come true:

• What would it be like to have a solid group of friends and ministry partners who have a common (but so extraordinary!) love the Lord and pour their energy and creativity into putting action to their passion? 

I can't thank God enough for the team he's placed me in right now in my life. He's put such unique gifts and personalities and strengths together in beautiful and messy unity, and especially this week I realized how much I need these people. So, special shout-out of gratefulness goes to our Homestead and its extended/transient dwellers: Hannah, Brie, Emilee, Bethany, Abby, Todd, Brandon, Ben, Will, and Erik. You are all gold, and I really love your guts! Thanks for showing me grace when I was stressed and cranky, for sweeping in to relieve me when I was overwhelmed, for basically "holding up my arms" throughout this week, and filling my heart with joy.

• What would it be like to settle into a place in a city where there are great needs that we can do something about and be a part of the restoration? 

I am so thankful for the preparation I received from the group of youth leaders in Winston-Salem five years ago, who taught me the importance of knowing the city I live in, praying for it, and being truly present in it. Fort Wayne is becoming my home and a place my heart breaks for, and it was a delight to share it with the team from NC. Special thanks and blessings to the Zo church community - for their love for all things Jesus-centered, for letting us come a-caroling and praying, and for the summer-long supply of pop they generously gave - I continue to learn so much and be humbled by this people group. Also thanks to Miss Ruth, The Reclamation Project, International House, and Gospel Community for embracing partnership and welcoming the team into their lives and ministries all week.

• What would it be like to have a safe place to rest and study God's word and fellowship with other believers, to help them grow and encourage them in their faith?

It still amazes me that God put two houses together, back-to-back in an alley, and placed Christian guys in one and Christian girls in the other, and gave them a common love for hospitality. We could not have made that happen on our own if we had tried! As you read above, our houses have become a center for growth and training and sending - HUGE answer to prayer. The Homestead has been a blessing to me all year, and this week it was beautiful to see it operate as a training base for young believers to deepen their faith. Special thanks to those who planned and led lessons and discussions and prayer times - your wisdom, experience, and passion is so inspiring!

• What would it be like to invite young Christians into my life, to walk beside me and get a glimpse of God's kingdom here on earth... to help them put on their "spiritual glasses" so they know how to find that kingdom back home or wherever they are?

The NC team... what a stellar group! It delighted my heart to do life with them this week: prayer walk with them, ride in the car with them, eat breakfast with them, sing with them, play Mafia with them... They worked so hard and did everything we asked them to do and more. And though as a group they are a pretty quiet bunch, I loved the moments I had alone with each one, when they asked great questions or gave amazing insights. It was a blessing to see their dedication, willingness, and love throughout the week. So finally, a major shout-out to our epic crew - Bethany, Sarah, Richard, Sam, Ryan, Dad, and Kevan. Thanks for being the hands and feet of Jesus to us, the youth night crew, and to Fort Wayne this week!

This morning this beautiful crew from NC drove away... away from "The Homestead," and back to "real life" as they know it. But I hope they know that life can be larger, can be as exciting as this. I was sad to see them go, but I have hope, and look forward to seeing and hearing what greatness will happen to them because of what they experienced here. I pray that God has put his kingdom seed in them and that they will pray and serve and be grounded in his Word and keep their spiritual glasses on... that He will lead their steps to go where he calls, and enlarge the capacity of their hearts to love as he does. I pray that this is the kind of impact we have on the world here at the Homestead.

"Just add water, and count to three... one and two and-!"

A small miracle is occurring at our Hobbit Hole. Well ok, miracles are actually happening all the time at our Hobbit Hole... Prayers are answered, relationships are restored, divine appointments are arranged, language barriers are broken, and the list goes on. Life feels a bit magical right now, and it is thrilling to live it out.

But there is a peculiar thing that has been quietly happening on our kitchen window sill this month. Granted, we fully hoped and expected our herbs to grow taller and thicker, and we have not been disappointed about that. What we didn't expect or even consider hoping for was a taller, thicker prince.

You may recall my recent post about Small Hannah's frog that turned into a cute little munchkin prince - one Mr. Knightly, by name - who was, as Crazy Hannah put it, "Every inch the man he was meant to be." Once he was fully transformed, we drained the water out of his tightly sealed container, and set him on the window sill.

A few days later, one of our teen girls, Thet Thet, was making something in the kitchen, and decided the prince needed more water, and she filled his container up again.  The next morning, Mr. Knightly had quite literally DOUBLED in size! He was a whopping 2" tall. Hannah was a bit freaked out, so she drained him again, thinking he was maybe bloated...

But he maintained his stature, and we admired him a great deal for it. So, when curiosity got the better of us, we filled him up again... and sure enough, he now stands at 4" tall, and has nearly outgrown his container, which we cannot break open in a legal way. Now we're wondering if there was a reason for the secure seal...

Two questions: Should we find a way to release the growing prince to expand without limits? And what do you think will happen if we do?  

1" tall Mr. Knightly

4" tall Mr. Knightly

All princes start as frogs, Part 2

There is now a one-inch tall prince sitting on our window sill. Since the transformation that happened last week, I've looked at him and chuckled to myself, rolled my eyes, and dismissed him a few times.

But Sunday night at church we studied Ephesians 4, and I keep going back to it, and today when I saw Mr. Knightly on the window sill, he seemed to symbolize something new...

"So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." - Ephesians 4:11-16

Why does Jesus give us different gifts and roles? To equip us to serve.
Why does he equip us to serve? So we can be built up together.
Why are we being built up together? To reach unity in faith and in the knowledge of Christ, to become mature, and to grasp the whole measure of the fullness of him.

This is what we are living for! This is something that won't happen fully until Jesus returns, but it is something we are promised and we take steps toward. As followers of Jesus, we should be investing our lives in using our gifts for service and building each other up and speaking the truth in love...

And life gets hard sometimes. Even though we want to be whole and mature and stable, we are still just infants, so easily tossed around and knocked down by influences, emotions, people... this world. We are small and broken and incomplete, and sometimes in the battle we get weary. Kind of like that prince hidden in the shell of a frog, sitting in water... we see and feel the change happening, we know it's coming, but it is slow, and we're not there yet.

But there is a promise. And the good news about God's promises is that they all come true. One day, we will grow to maturity in Him; one day we will all reach unity of faith; one day we will stand unwavering; one day we will be exactly who we were created to be, as individuals and as one body together - whole, supported, strong. What a day that will be! I can't wait...

Until then, keep "bubbling" and "molting"... keep doing what we are called to do here and now, knowing that every day of faithfulness brings us closer to completion in Him.

All princes start as frogs, Part 1

Meet Mr. Knightly.

Or "Mr. Insert-favorite-Jane-Austin-gentleman's-name-here." For Hannah, it's Mr. Knightly. Yes, he looks a little green around the gills, and yes, he's a bit stumpy and warty, and yes, he is contained in a small plastic jar. But the box promised that with true love's kiss... and a 5-minute soak in cold water... this frog would become a prince. So we gave it a shot.

As the water poured in, we were sure there was instant transformation... Here is a transcript of some of what was said between four sisters - Brie, Hannah, Hannah, and me.

Minute 1:

"It's turning white!"
"It may take up to 5 minutes..."
"Really? That long? Well, I suppose it is a prince..."
"All good things to those who wait."

Minutes 3:

"I feel like we should shake him..."
"He needs time! He's molting!"
"Yeah, give him time... Hey, this will last a lifetime, so he can take all his time..."
"The best guys are worth the wait."

Minute 5:

"Stir him! Encourage the process! Maybe the magic needs some help!"
"No, no, it'll ruin him if it goes too fast."
"You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles."
"Exactly."
"Well, I was expecting a whoosh-boom kind of transformation."
"It's realistic."
"You're right. In the scope of our timeline... for today... he's coming very fast."

Minute 8:

"He doesn't look like a prince - he just looks like an albino frog."
"Is he acting like a prince?"
"He's taking all our ridicule very well... That's a good quality..."
"Look! He's deflating!! ewww, He's bubbling from the head..."

Minute 10:

"Hannah, what has waiting created in you? Are you still patient? kind? and gorgeous?"
"I hope so. I'm ready to  meet this person..."
"I think he's getting smaller."
"Maybe the water should have been colder."
"Is he bubbling faster?"
"Maybe he realizes he needs to hurry up. He knows you're doubting him."
"I'm not doubting!"

Minute 13:

"It's like all his insides are coming out first."
"I think it will become a hollow shell and then just fall off."
"So there's a lot going on that we can't see..."
"He's having an internal battle-"
"An internal change-"
"From the inside out!"
"He's changing his ways for you..."
"And for himself..."
"You're right, it would better him not to be a frog."

Minute 15:

"I wonder if I can see his head..."
"I don't think so, I feel like he needs more water."
"No, not allowed. Leave him alone."
"He's making strides."
"He's still looking very frog-like..."
"What if he's a midget? Just an inch tall?
"Then he'll be every inch the man he's supposed to be!"

Minute 20:

"Twenty minutes! Five minutes is a scam!"
"We need to give him some more ice water..."
"Yeah, let's help him out. This is tragic."
"Maybe we should not watch him."
"He does have four women staring at him. That's a lot of pressure."
"What if there's nothing in there at all?"
"Ok, no, he's in there... I know he is... I just have to wait."
"Have faith..."
"Yes, faith, hope and love - these are things we're working on this year, remember?"

Minute 35: After two more ice water soaks, Hannah decided to break protocol and stab at the stubborn shell with a straw...

"Chisel it away!"
"Come out of there!"
"Want that prince! Want him!"
"Fight for him! Fight for your man!"
"Get me a sturdier straw! It's not working!"

Minute 40:

"Now I can't get the rest, but we can see him!"
"He's not shirtless..."
"Mr. Knightly, eh?"
"Are you gonna give him a kiss, Hannah?"
"Yes!"
"Well he did take his good old time..."
"But he was worth it!"

Looking back and looking ahead

Last year at this time,  I set forth for myself some goals, and I am proud to say I accomplished them all!

1. To learn something that is domestically useful: I learned that you can spruce up an antique living room by simply getting rid of unattractive knickknacks! You can replace an awkward statue and with candles, and the room is much warmer and cozier. Also, photographs of people you love, framed and placed on shelves and mantles, instantly turns a rented house into a home. Valuable tidbits for a couple of missionaries on a dollar store decorating budget.

2. To learn something that is just crazy fun: I'm sure there are multiple things I learned, especially from Kelsey and Tall Hannah, but one thing that stands out tonight is something Pam taught me - the pure joy of wearing long, brightly colored, striped, extra-fluffy socks all. the. time. Can't live without them anymore!

3. To make a new friend: Well I've made lots of friends, but two of the most significant this year were Meng Pu and Kelsey.

4. To have a real kindred spirit: Small Hannah has definitely become that most of all.

5. To travel to a new place: Going to Geneva, Indiana, on the Limberlost adventure in October, with the Hannahs and Kelsey.

The final goal was to make a difference. It's kind of a life goal for me, so I can't say if I've accomplished it this year, but I hope I have.

I got an interesting email/blog challenge today: If God were to give you a picture in anticipation of 2012, what would it be? So I went back through the photos I took this year, and I think maybe this is the picture God's given me for 2012:

I took this picture during one of the best weeks of the year - when the team from my home church came up to serve at I-House. One of the I-House teens wrote the word "Miracle" on the black top at I-House, while the rest of the group was swimming, eating popsicles, playing soccer, and sharing life. The time I have been able to spend with these kids this year is a miracle.

That I got to share it with my home church family, and see on their faces that they got it is a miracle.

That the youth program is still growing and bursting at the seams is a miracle.

That hearts and lives are being transformed right before our eyes is a miracle.

That I get to spend another year learning from and pouring into this group is a miracle.

And I fully believe and expect that God has many more miracles in store for the youth at I-House.

I want to go into the coming year with confidence and anticipation that I serve a Saviour who is in the miracle-making business, and his miracles are always wonderful!

Crochet Club

My Chin-Zo family came home last night to find me at the dining room table with my latest blanket-making project spread out, alternating between feeling proud, exhausted, and doubtful.

Lian and Thang Ngaih generously praised my work and then looked over my stitches closely. I know they are both experts - at least much more experienced than I am - in crocheting, so I asked them what they would recommend for a certain part of the project I was struggling with. Thang Ngaih showed me what she would do, and I said, "I did that! But it comes apart!" She laughed her sweet loving laugh and patted my shoulder, "Oh, you, you not strong!" She spoke the truth as kindly as humanly possible. Then she proceeded to rip apart my flimsy seams (with my consent, of course) and then offered to redo it for me. My pride wouldn't let me, so I asked her to show me and then I would do it.

I worked at it for another hour, re-stitching as best as I could and kicking myself for giving myself a project that highlighted my weakness. Couldn't I have thought of an easier way to express my love? Thang Ngaih was gracious enough to let me struggle until I was ready to surrender, and I really struggled. Finally I stopped, my hands shaking, my arms aching. Thang Ngaih gently came over and said, "You want help now?" I nodded, and she took my project from me and sat down.

In half an hour she did twice as much as I did and it looked better than mine. But she smiled and visited with me while she worked and I rested. Little Esther was visiting, and she made little pom-poms and braids with our scraps of yarn. When Thang Ngaih finished, I thanked her, and she sweetly said, "We do together?" meaning the rest of the blanket.

I think she really likes having something to do with me, and it's nice for me to have someone to crochet with too. Maybe I can do the parts that don't require much strength while she does the heavy-duty work. The job will get done faster and more efficiently, and we will have some special times to spend together. I might just called it my "Crochet Club"...

photo update

I realized today that I still hadn't shown you my blanket in its final state! Sorry to keep you in suspense. So without further ado...

Isn't it awesome?! And instead of being able to just chill out and enjoy a job well done, my hands are itching for a new project! Hmmm... what will it be...?

You should also see my awesome girls' Bible study group from this winter. I wish you could meet them all! But at least you can see their beautiful faces, and note the love and joy of Jesus that just shines in them! Pray for them, please, that they will continue to grow in grace and truth.

Catching the Teaching Bug... again.

I've got it again... the teaching bug!

Today was my first day back in the education-saddle, and it felt really good. I had all these anxieties about being prepared and knowing what to do, but as soon as the first class came in, all of that melted away and I was Miss Chandler again, loving every moment. I think my favorite thing is figuring out how to help the students care about what they are learning. That is easy for me to do this term because my subjects are English and US History, both of which I feel very passionate. And because of that, I feel like releasing my inner nerd and thinking of all sorts of fun and creative activities to do with the lessons. Of course, so far all I've had to do is plan and teach... the hard part for me is the testing, grading, and evaluating, so I'll let you know in a few days if I still love my job. :)

The Easter weekend flew by in a whirlwind of sugar, late nights, and a full house of crazy good people. My dear friend, Leigh Ann, stayed with me while my parents were in Hawaii, and we had a great time together. She is such a wonderful friend to have around, and I think part of it is because she is so full of patience and grace and genuinely puts Christ's love into action.

Amazingly for April here, the past week has been nothing but sunshine and 80-degree weather. Leigh Ann and I took full advantage of it: we walked all over downtown Winston-Salem on Friday and got fabulously sun-kissed, had a picnic with the church on Saturday, and wore our pretty summer dresses on Easter Sunday.

It was also a weekend of finishing touches... Thursday night I had a pizza dinner with my teen girls Bible study group as our last night together (for now). It was exciting to see how each of them learned such personal applications from the first four chapters of John, and how they are all growing in their relationships with the Lord. I look forward to seeing the amazing ways he is going to continue to work in their lives in the future!

My other finishing touch was on my blanket! Yes, it is finished - four months work is complete! I don't know if I have ever felt so proud of myself in my life.

Well my class break is almost over, my healthy snack is eaten, and my last class is about to begin. Have a beautiful day!

As piles cascade across my desk...

There are mounds of papers, pieces mail, notes, projects, and books all over my desk, land-sliding despite my attempts to stack them neatly, multiplying every day, reminding me that the next few weeks of my life are going to be really busy! It's all really exciting stuff - planning the Watoto Choir performance, starting up the church coffee house, wrapping up the girls' Bible study, preparing lessons for the adult ESL class, raising support for my trip this summer, and starting a "day job"! But none of it is anything I can do anything about today... I just have to look at all these piles and anticipate the busy-ness that is soon to come.

So today I am continuing with my crochet project - yes, it has transformed into a crochet project now! I finished step 2: I conquered the embroidery pattern - only to realize my 3-step project is more like a 5-step project, as far as I can tell. I am on step 3 now, single crochet stitching a border around each square. When I finish this, step 4 is to sew the blocks together, and step 5 is the finishing-touch edging around the whole blanket. I will post a picture when it is finished!

This morning I saw the most welcome sign - my favorite evidence of spring in bloom!

Daffodils are my favorite spring flowers - they just seem so cheery and joyful to me. They spread their hands wide open in worship and raise their bright trumpets to play to the Lord a tune meant only for his ears. What a brilliant demonstration to his glory!

And so let us also praise the Lord!

a productive day with a good, good end

Kevan's favorite Ben 'n Jerry ice cream flavor is "Mission to Marzipan." Tonight he decided to pick some up, and while he was at it, because he is so sweet and thoughtful, he got me a little tub of my favorite flavor... can anyone guess?... "Cherry Garcia." It's definitely the best blend of cherry, chocolate, and ice cream EVER created. I love my brother! I love Ben 'n Jerry ice cream! And I love their website too - there are games and activities to keep you busy when you are bored. One time, I actually made a whole village out of paper patterns they had on the website, complete with cows to inhabit it.

I packed it all in a shoebox and shipped it to my friend Shannon in Texas. I don't see that project on the website anymore, but there's plenty of other things to check out.
Today I was not bored, and therefore did not have to print out, color, cut, and glue paper buildings and cows. I actually got a lot done - finished my embroidery, made some sign-up sheets for events, editted a story and some papers for people, tutored a student in linguistics, and a few other little things that amounted to quite a bit. It's nice to feel productive.
And I got to finish the day with a cup of Ben 'n Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream! Talk about a happy ending!

Embroidery lessons

I'm teaching myself how to do a little embroidery. Actually, that doesn't make sense, does it? How can you teach yourself something you don't know in the first place? I should not take credit for it. So let me try rephrasing that: I have an instruction book that my Grandma Chandler gave me that I can sometimes understand, and when I don't, my mom demonstrates for me. Then I try to copy what she did, or make my stitches look like they do in the book, and if it doesn't turn out right, I take it out and try again. On-the-job/experiential training seems to work out well in this case.

I'm getting pretty good at "Lazy Daisy" stitches, which is good, since that's the majority of my pattern. And once Mom showed me the secret to a good "French Knot" (the book assumes all good handiworkers already know this) I had a lot of fun with them too. The stem stitches are giving me some trouble, though... more trouble than I really think is necessary. If the yarn was just climbing straight up the square it would be easy, but the daisy stems lean over to either side, and I just can't figure out how to keep the stitches even as I lean. If anyone has any good ideas, let me know!

The embroidery pattern of my quilt is the long-awaited second step to my masterpiece. Yes, for those of you who have been following along, I am now finished "kni-chetting" (the afghan stitch is a strange mutation of classic knitting and crocheting) my 35 squares of mossy green, Shetland Chunky yarn. That's 30 stitches a row, 24 rows a square... 720 stitches a square... 25,200 stitches in all. After all that, I feel like I'm a Master Kni-chetter. I'm embroidering the four corners, and when that is done, I will stitch all the squares together and add a border. Anyone think I can finish this month??