Extra Time

My bags are packed and loaded in the car, but instead of driving into Fort Wayne right now, I am sitting comfortably in front of a fire in my parents' house, working on our 2,000 piece puzzle and writing to you. Snow is falling in that northern land, and there are predictions of more snow next week, which is exciting to me. But for now, in the mild South, I take a few minutes to reflect on the week.

Last weekend I was in Memphis with my mom and dad, visiting Andrew and Amanda, and the three little-but-growing-fast Chandler boys. I don't know what I enjoyed the most - making Play-doh worms and pillows and blankets with Noah (the extent of my clay-molding skills), playing with every musical toy in the world with Toby, or holding Coen as he slept and slept and... slept. Amanda gave me some new recipes to try out and got me hooked on "Pinterest," Andrew showed me his newest books, and at night after the boys were in bed we all watched "Cake Boss" together. Good times!

Got to spend some good quality time with some friends when I got back, and last night Kevan and I watched a movie, ate chips, and played games. And "games" with Kevan are totally random and creative... like picking out a book neither of us have read before, blindly picking a random sentence from it, and then illustrating our interpretation of what might be happening in the story... and like one person making a meaningless squiggle on a paper and the other person adding to it to give it meaning. The sound of creativity buzzed and crackled like electricity in the air.

Mom and Dad and I have been listening to these books on CD lately, while we drive or work on the puzzle. As a writer, I analyze the writing techniques of the authors - why did they give so much of the information up front? how do they make despicable characters so likeable? why did they cut off the conversation or the scene right there?  As a reader, I analyze the plot - I know the classic plot twists this author usually takes, because someone you like always dies, or the underdog will come out on top, so how's it gonna happen? I dig into small details that I'm sure must be significant, analyze the characters, try to predict the thread of the plot and how the climax will rise and be resolved. I do that in life, too, I've realized. And the Author patiently reprimands me: "Just RELAX... enjoy the story, get to know the characters, savor the suspense, cherish the beauty page by page." Another goal for the future: don't try to figure it out or find all the answers... just enjoy the story.

Finding true love

So, I'm a romantic. I dream and wonder when I'm going to meet the man of my dreams, and hope that it will happen, and someday soon. And while I am happy for my friends whose dreams come true, it does get challenging to watch another holiday season pass without an engagement ring, another New Year greeted without a kiss, another Valentine's Day without true love and high adventure, another late-April birthday (that I am realizing comes at the beginning of "wedding season") without actual wedding plans. I've spent a lot of time in the past year praying and hoping that it would have been the year for me, somehow, someway, with someone.

But you know what else I spent the past year praying and hoping about? My teenage friends in Fort Wayne. They've become incredibly important and precious to me, and most of the creative thoughts and exciting plans and intense prayers and sleepless nights I've had, have been about them. How can I love them more? How can I show them that love more? How can I show them God's love for them more? How can I get others involved in their lives? How can I help other people see in them the amazing things God has shown me? They are what I miss the most when I'm not in Fort Wayne. They make me crazy, and hyper, and exhausted, all at once. They give me strength and a reason to stick around indefinitely, even when my wanderlusting soul wants to keep moving and not sit still.

So I didn't fall in love this year with the man of my dreams. But God gave me a deep and profound love for a group of kids... something I didn't think He could do again, after I had to leave the kids I love so much in Winston-Salem. Those kids are growing up now and moving on with their lives - going to college, getting married, getting jobs, joining the military - and when I see them, my heart bursts with joy and breaks with love for them. They'll always be my kids, and I'll cherish the time we had together, and I will continue to pray for them and cheer for them... but now God has given me a new group of kids to love, too.

And just today, He made me realize that right now in my life, this is the true love he has for me; these are the people I need to invest my love in wholeheartedly, without having to share that love with someone else. His love is true... the truest love there is. And he's given that love to me. And I'm going to give it to them.

A year in blog review

I was trying to remember all the highlights of 2011, wanting to write them all down in fond memory and pleasant reflection. But here's the problem: There was too much! My memory is flooded with precious conversations, dear people, incredible moments, glimpses into Eternity. I'm overwhelmed by the amazing blessings that God filled my life with this year. So, I decided to try and pick just one highlight from each month, and give it a superlative, and link you to the post about it so you can read all the details, if you want. By no means are these the only things I cherish about the year, and those of you who have been in my life this year should know how much I love you and am thankful for you!

January: Most Daring Act of Courage or Stupidity - I ate a fried bat.

February: Most Incredible Slumber Party Ever - I survived Snowpocalypse, 2011.

March: Most Unexpected Disease - I was embarrassingly inflicted with a case of Bieber Fever.

April: Most Personally Challenging Book - I read and learned to Do Hard Things.

May: Most Fun and Romantic Cross-Cultural Experience - I attended a Zo wedding... and still have confetti and glitter embedded in my wheelchair!

June: Most Powerful Week of the Year - I got to share the ministry of I-House with my TCF family.

July: Too much happened to pick just one, so here's three! 1) Big Life Goal Accomplished - my first book was published, 2) Most Epic Family Time - reunion in British Columbia, and 3) Biggest Learning Experience of the Year - two weeks of training at International Teams.

August: Most Awesome Concert Experience of the Year - I went to Huntington University for the Superchick/Switchfoot show with a great group of friends.

September: Most Difficult Challenge and Greatest Time Spent Leaning on the Lord - I got sick.

October: Most Enchanting Day of Exploration - I visited the Limberlost.

November: Most Encouraging Time with the Youth - The Fall Leaf Raking Party.

December: Most Relaxing and Refreshing Vacation - Didn't blog about it yet, but I got to go visit the Perry family in south Florida during the week before Christmas.