Do you believe that Jesus loves you?

I got to see the Ragamuffin movie this weekend. It's the story of Rich Mullins life - a life that I was too young to remember or appreciate in real time, but also a life that has strongly impacted me in the past 15 years. I highly recommend the movie to... yeah, everyone. It's gonna be on DVD in Walmart for a limited time next month. 

I basically cried through the whole movie, not because it was sad, but because so much of it resonated with me. My friend Pam and I were talking about it last night, and wondering about the paradox of his message that was so simple and so difficult: Believe that Jesus really does love you - he even likes you. If that is all the gospel is, then it sounds really simple. Just believe he loves you! But "knowing" and "believing" are two different things, and when you zoom in and look closely at how that belief plays itself out in life, it is so difficult. Confession: it is amazingly, ridiculously hard to believe Jesus loves me when I face each day with pain and weakness and dependency on people for tedious and critical things all day long, and lies constantly trying to attack my mind about loneliness and the limits and conditions of love.  And I'm sure you have things in your life too that make it hard to believe He loves you. It would be easier to believe if everything was perfect and right in the world, but I think He wants us to believe it regardless of what happens to us and around us. His love isn't contingent on anything except His steadfast, unchanging character. It's a truth that is slippery - hard to hold on to, hard to really grasp. But in the workout it is to try to grasp it, I think we become stronger and steadier in our identity as his children. 

Pam asked, "If it is so hard for us to believe in His love, what hope do we have of helping others believe it?" And I have been struggling with that question today. It certainly changes the concept of evangelism for me. "Just believe Jesus loves you" starts to sound in my head like a munchkin voice saying "Follow the yellow brick road!" At first, the yellow brick road is obvious and simple, so confidence rises as the traveller repeats the instructions - oh I can do this! And then the road gets confusing and dangerous, and things off the path are distracting and more exciting, and before you know it, the basic instructions are difficult to remember and follow and believe in.  But the instructions haven't changed - the truth stays the same. 

I don't think anyone who initially chooses to believe in Christ's love has any idea how hard it will be to keep believing. But the incredible thing is that at the same time, no one has any idea how beautiful and powerful and overwhelming it is when we do. We just need to choose to take that first step of belief, and then the next, and then the next... and let Him take us deeper and deeper into the understanding of his love for us.

"To Him Who is Our Life"

Today my mom called me on the phone, in the middle of my usual Thursday craziness - juggling transportation plans for youth night, giving my home aid instructions for my laundry, getting ready for a meeting - to tell me that Charlie had passed away. She was definitely emotional about it, and I could imagine that Kevan and my dad were too - he was a dear family friend, but I just blinked, not able to absorb the news at all. When I got off the phone, I felt weird, like I should cry or cancel my meeting or something, but I just mechanically checked my email and straightened my glasses on my nose. 

After my home aid left, I bundled up and decided to go for a walk. I rode down the alley for two blocks, then came back on the sidewalk, the tears in my eyes caused only by the cold wind blowing in my face. "Charlie's gone... he's passed... he's dead..." I tried telling myself, but it wouldn't stick. I've only known Charlie as a very old man with a very young spirit. Kevan once said he is like Caleb in Joshua 14, taking possession of new land and powerfully fighting the enemy. Clear-minded and sharp, adventurous and feisty, determined and driven, Charlie has seemed sort of immortal to me. At least, I thought he would out-live me. I visited him in his home in Charleston in 2009, and have been looking forward to another visit soon. The thought of not seeing him again on this earth has never occurred to me. So I couldn't mourn, because it just doesn't seem real. Charlie is more full of life than most people I've met. 

Tonight when I got home, it finally set in. I thought of all the scribbled letters I've received from him, and more recently the emails. I re-read some emails we've shared in the past year. This is an excerpt from one of the last notes I received from him: 

 Connie, when your life continues to be firmly rooted in our Lord Jesus, then things work. You say that you do not know what your story will be like in the end. The secret to that question fits into two scriptures:

 Phil.4:12b.(NIV) I have learned the secret to be content in any and every situation . And Col: 3:23 & 24.Whatsoever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for men, for you know your reward comes from the Lord not men. So Connie, seek to please only your Lord, for that is a winner.  

Charlie always signed off his notes with the phrase, "To Him Who is Our Life." It is a reflection of how much his life was focused on Jesus - giving glory to Him, pointing others to Him. Even whenever he was bedridden in the hospital, he was inviting his visitors to sit and listen to stories of Jesus and his amazing work in the life of an old man named Charles Luce. Maybe that's why it doesn't feel like he is dead - because Jesus is completely and thoroughly his life, and He is eternal and His love will continue on...

One, Two, Three

Mile log: 806

Yesterday, Pam and Andy got married. Such a blessing to be in their lives and a part of their wedding. They had a cord-braiding ceremony, based on the verse in Ecclesiastes that says, "A cord of three strands is not easily broken," and they asked me to write a little something to explain/express that concept. So here it is... 

“One, Two, Three”
from Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

by C.L. Chandler

for Andy and Pam Leeper, 9/28/13

Two are better than one…

If either of them falls down,

One can help the other up          

-              So I commit to love and support you

                to be constant, gracious, and strong

when you are weak.

When you stumble and fall,

I will lift you up again.

When you cannot find your way,

I will shine the Light for you.

When you forget who you are,

 I will remind you of the truth.

Two are better than one…

If two lie down together,

They will keep warm                     

-              So we commit to serve each other

to compliment and enrich
both of our lives.

Let us lie close together to stay warm.

Let us lean on each other to gain courage.

Let us walk in step together to discover

the joy in the journey.

Two are better than one…

Though one may be overpowered,

Two can defend themselves      

-              So we commit to work together

                as partners, to fight for what is sacred.

What the enemy tries to steal, we will protect.

What he seeks to kill, we will rescue.

What he wants to destroy, we will defend.

Three are better than two…

And a cord of three strands

Is not quickly broken                     

-              So we commit our lives to Christ

                who is greater than us,

and makes us complete in Him.

Please weave us into Your glorious plan

so we will trust You.

Intertwine our lives tightly into Yours

so we may not be loosed.

Precious Jesus, bind us together

so we cannot be undone.

As You Wish

"'As you wish,' was all he ever said... That day she was amazed to discover that when he was saying, 'As you wish,' what he meant was 'I love you.'"

I got to watch The Princess Bride tonight with some friends, and that movie never ceases to make me feel good inside... great characters, adventures, and quotable quotes. I've been thinking a lot lately about Westley and his famous quote, "As you wish" - his response to every command and request Buttercup gave. He was her servant, so he kind of had to do what she said; but he also loved her and because of that he submitted himself willingly to whatever she asked. Submission and obedience were the evidence of his love for her.

So I'm thinking that it is a good example to follow in my relationship with the Lord. I say that I love him, I tell him I love him... but does my attitude and response to his command always reflect that love? When I ask him for things and he says no, or when he tells me to do things I don't want to do, how often do I pout and resist and complain about how unfair life is, before I snap out of it and remember to surrender to him? Sometimes it takes me a while to get my heart in a position to respond to Him with "As You wish." And that is something I really want to work on in my faith... because if I am truly committed to loving, submitting to, trusting, and serving Him, this should be my automatic, ever-ready response. So I'm asking the Holy Spirit to change my heart in this way, so that in any and every situation, I want the things that God wants, and I delight to do whatever he calls me to do... As You wish... I love You.

Callouses

Today I got to visit with Pastor Meng Pu and his daughter, Emily. He told me he was praying for me, which I thought was pretty cool and sweet, and I thanked him for it.

But he kept going - he said there were about ten people in ministry that he prays for daily, and he rattled them off on his fingers, and I was one of them. I felt honored and grateful, and again I thanked him for it; life is hard and ministry is hard and making decisions is hard, so knowing he is praying for me is really great.

But he kept going - he couldn't find the words, so he knelt down on the ground and raised his hands high and again emphasized that he prays for me daily... and then he sat back down and rolled up his pant legs, and showed me big, hard, thick callouses on his knees.

The lump in my throat kept me from thanking him again. It is the most overwhelming feeling to find out someone is literally wearing out their knees in prayer for you.

I am so thankful that man is in my life.

Reflections on a wedding

Mile log: 590

Another wedding has come and gone... Yesterday, our friends Joe and Lisa got married, and the Women of the Hobbit Hole were blessed to share in the celebration. Today as I drink my coffee and look at pictures and listen to romantic music and remember the highlights of the wedding, my mind is forming some clearer reflections on it all.

It was at their families' church, and their traditions (we were warned) are quite different from what we are used to. The wedding was part of the regular church service. There was no exchange of rings, no romantic songs/poems/personalized vows, no unity candle/sand/tree/what-have-you, no kiss (?!),  and no wedding march. As the congregation sang Psalm 23 in beautiful a capella four-part harmony (without a worship leader or choir), the entire wedding party came in together, including the bride. They all sat on the front pews for the sermon, and at the end of the service Joe and Lisa stood together and said their vows, and that was about it. Actually, I almost forgot that we were there for a wedding.

Initially, this felt very strange to me, even wrong. In every wedding I've ever been to or dreamed of, the bride and groom are the focus and centerpiece of the occasion. Even in Christian weddings, when they give God all the glory, they are the visual symbol we look at. And I've always thought that was the way it should be... and I still believe there is nothing wrong with that. But the more I think about it, the more it made sense, the way this wedding was done... it truly was not about the couple, but about worshiping the Lord and focusing on him, in a more literal way than I'm used to seeing. I definitely admire the humility it took for Lisa to surrender and submit "her day" to God like she did.

Sure, I really missed the moment when the music changes and everyone stands and looks to the back of the church to see her appear, so radiant and beautiful. And yes, I was pretty disappointed that I didn't get to relish the pastor giving them permission to kiss as husband and wife in front of everyone. But I left feeling like I had truly witnessed a holy and sacred thing, and that God had been honored above all... and I'm so thankful I got to be there.

Love is magic

"Love is magic - it's a beautiful, wonderful, marvelous, mysterious thing.
Love is magic - makes you wanna dance, wanna laugh, jump around and makes you sing."

Kelsey and Gabe got married a couple weeks ago, on March 30. They are one of my favorite couples to spend time with, and I will try to explain why. They are each great people individually - they both love the Lord, they are both super-creative and talented, they are very authentic in their relationship with each other and other people, and they are both passionate about the things God has given them to do. But together... together their potential sky-rockets. Together, they are so much more powerful. Their ministry, compassion, and light just explodes. And that is exciting to see. It's exciting to watch, to experience, to be a part of. It was exciting to stand (sit) with them on their wedding day, to hear them exchange vows and promises, to see them kiss and dance and laugh and hug and start their life together. It is good - very good - to see true love in action, in the beautiful way God means it to be. It gives me hope.

Last night, Hannah and I went on a long walk and talked about love and marriage. "What would you say," she asked, "to people who think marriage is obsolete, overrated, or unnecessary... people who think just living together is enough and divorce is completely normal? I know it is fundamentally wrong, but emotionally how would you handle it?" I thought about it for a few minutes, as we passed Jared and Shannon's little apartment, and then up a block to the future home of our Joe and Lisa. I thought about Gabe and Kelsey, who I think are still on their honeymoon, and I thought of my parents who just went away for their 36th anniversary, and I thought of my grandparents who are still in love and faithfully care for each other. I thought about Westley and Buttercup in the Fire Swamp, and how true love really is never meant to die.

And it breaks my heart to think of people believing that it isn't possible. What would the world be like if promises meant nothing? if commitment wasn't valued? if love was just a watered down hormonal response that could bloom and fade away? There is fear, apathy, and weakness in that sort of life. But there is power in love that lasts forever. There is inspiration and truth and hope in swearing "til death do you part" and meaning it. I've seen it, so I know it's real and it's possible. And I hope one day it will be my story too.

The Anti-Cliché Counter-Valentine

Confessions of a hopeful romantic... who happens to trust in the Lord...  

I don’t want to be flattered or pampered by you,

As though you think that I need you 

To make me feel good about who I am.

I’d rather you turn my focus toward Jesus. 

I don’t want to be rescued by you,

Because Christ already did that for me.

I don’t need a fearless hero in you, but

I’d rather you find your strength and courage in the Lord.

I don’t want to be chased by you,

Because that implies I’m running away

And you haven’t caught on to the hint.

I’d rather us run the Race set before us, side by side.

I don’t want to be selected by you,

Like I’m one of many cereals on the shelf

Chosen based on what you think is best for you.

I’d rather God choose us both for each other.

I don’t want to be patronized and protected by you,

Kept safe and secure from all possible danger.

As long as we jump in together,

I’d rather have breath-taking, heart-racing adventures.

I don’t want to be flirted with or schmoozed by you,

With you putting stars in my eyes

And in my stomach a feeling of butterflies.

I’d rather learn, discover, grow deeply with you.

I don’t want “love at first sight.”

At first, we need to see that we are both broken sinners,

And the further we dig, the more we will find

The beautiful, redeemed children God is making us to be. 

~C.L. Chandler

Love through a firehose

My breathing is getting easier, though with this silly oxymeter on my finger and Albuterol making me shake every two hours, my typing is not. Small potatoes, though, compared to the feel of clean air returning to my chest and lungs and the pleasant flavor of chicken and cheese on my tongue again. As the code blue alert rushes nurses into action down the hall to the fading sound of the nightly waxing machine skidding across the floor, making their way swifter, I breathe - breathe thanks to the Breath of Life - because today I can.

One of my Women's Club students, Rosa, came by to visit me today. She laid hands on me and prayed over me in Spanish. Three of the youth night girls came by with new socks and chocolates and hugs. One of our Sunday students, who now works at the hospital, popped in and promised to check in again. Meng Pu and one of his daughters were here the other day to pray over me. My little songbird, Maelynn, lifted my spirits with a song of joy. All my sweet friends and helpers and ministry partners and family, who already do so much for me on my best days, have come by for the same thing too.

They've all come in and out of my room over the days, and leave by lavishing so much love... and today it honestly puzzled me. Why do these people have so much love for me? I mean, I love them, and I know they love me, but this love seems so much more powerful and transcendent... like, for every teaspoon I try to dish out I get knocked over by a deluge waterfall. There's no way I can keep up with it, it's just too big, and I am overwhelmed. I do not deserve this love, and yet I basque in it. Because I know no person on earth has the power to produce this.

I'm not good at formulas, but I feel like I'm beginning to learn one... that when you join God in his story, he leads you to his Springs of Life, where he fills you, and overflows you, so that the smallness of you is consumed in the greatness of His love, drawing others to the spring to be filled to overflow, and their overflow flows back into you and you into them, and the more people who gather, the more his mercies flow... the power of a firehose dowsing us, blessing us, filling us more.

Dear loved ones, from my teaspoon to your garden hose tonight, be filled with his love.

Itna

Last week, I learned a new Zo word: Itna. It was the title of chapter 13 of 1 Corinthians in Pastor Meng Pu's Bible, and as we laid our Words open side by side, I connected that this word, Itna, must mean love. When I asked for clarification, Meng Pu responded, "Yes, love-to-love." I've heard him use this phrase before, and haven't quite figured out what it means yet, so I probe further. "Are there different words that mean different kinds of love in your home language?" His confused face tells me I've used too many words, so I try again. "In English, 'love' is one word. 'I love my family, I love God, I love chocolate.' In Zo, one word? Or different words?" Understanding flashes a green light across his face. "Oh, different word, many different word. Itna mean big-love, God-love."

How else could you describe it? It isn't just a word on a page, and it isn't synonymous with "enjoy" or "like a lot." It is pro-active - it's touching, engaging, being personal and authentic and selfless. It is patient, kind, humble, honoring, selfless, even-tempered, and merciful. It gets excited and energized by the Truth being proclaimed and lived out. It trumps every admirable spiritual gift and discipline, and even faith itself, as the most important, the most eternal thing we can possess. It is the very best way to live, it is here and now, and it never ends. It is Big Love. God-Love.

I try to work out how Meng Pu chooses to translate Itna into everyday conversation: "love-to-love."

God is love, and he loves to love us - he lavishes his love on us so that we can be called his children (I John 3:1). It is his love that is  Itna, his love that redeems, restores, adopts, and includes us in his great inheritance. Is this what "love to love" means?

When we receive God's love, then we are capable of loving God and others deeply and fully, and the love goes on - we truly know how to love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). So maybe it means that the love is passed on from One to another - love to love to love to love...

In some languages, to repeat a word is to amplify it, to make it more or greater than it is on its own. So maybe "love to love" is a repetitive, overlapping, ampliflying of what we commonly refer to as love. This isn't your regular garden-variety human-earth-based love. The way we love is just a shadow of the true love of the Father. One word just isn't enough to describe it... or is it?

Itna... Big Love. God-Love.

Finding true love

So, I'm a romantic. I dream and wonder when I'm going to meet the man of my dreams, and hope that it will happen, and someday soon. And while I am happy for my friends whose dreams come true, it does get challenging to watch another holiday season pass without an engagement ring, another New Year greeted without a kiss, another Valentine's Day without true love and high adventure, another late-April birthday (that I am realizing comes at the beginning of "wedding season") without actual wedding plans. I've spent a lot of time in the past year praying and hoping that it would have been the year for me, somehow, someway, with someone.

But you know what else I spent the past year praying and hoping about? My teenage friends in Fort Wayne. They've become incredibly important and precious to me, and most of the creative thoughts and exciting plans and intense prayers and sleepless nights I've had, have been about them. How can I love them more? How can I show them that love more? How can I show them God's love for them more? How can I get others involved in their lives? How can I help other people see in them the amazing things God has shown me? They are what I miss the most when I'm not in Fort Wayne. They make me crazy, and hyper, and exhausted, all at once. They give me strength and a reason to stick around indefinitely, even when my wanderlusting soul wants to keep moving and not sit still.

So I didn't fall in love this year with the man of my dreams. But God gave me a deep and profound love for a group of kids... something I didn't think He could do again, after I had to leave the kids I love so much in Winston-Salem. Those kids are growing up now and moving on with their lives - going to college, getting married, getting jobs, joining the military - and when I see them, my heart bursts with joy and breaks with love for them. They'll always be my kids, and I'll cherish the time we had together, and I will continue to pray for them and cheer for them... but now God has given me a new group of kids to love, too.

And just today, He made me realize that right now in my life, this is the true love he has for me; these are the people I need to invest my love in wholeheartedly, without having to share that love with someone else. His love is true... the truest love there is. And he's given that love to me. And I'm going to give it to them.

Life in Narnia, Signs of Love

Mom and I got back to Fort Wayne last night, and I was warmly greeted by a few special things...

Kelsey "and Friends" painted a mural on my bedroom wall that I've been dreaming of for a while. There's a lamp-sconse on my wall that I have always thought could be made to look like the lamppost in the woods in Narnia, especially given it's proximity to my closet... So the girls thought my absense from Little Burma was a grand excuse to bring a bit of Narnian magic to my room.

Also waiting for me was a big "Welcome Back Connie" banner and a "Welcome Back Connie" poster from the youth group. It's so fun to read all the little notes and see the different ways the kids and volunteers expressed their love.

This morning, one if my dear friends and students, Reyna, brought me a special bouqet of flowers. That, along with a thousand warm hugs and kisses from all the ESL students, made it a really wonderful day!

It's good to be back. :)

Zo Wedding Plans

God knows I am a hopeless romantic... really, He knows this about me! Most of the time, he has to work hard to reel me in and calm me down, because my sentimental heart starts to go into hyperdrive. But every once in a while, he endulges me in healthy ways. Yesterday afternoon was one of those times...

Brenda told me the other day that there is to be a Chin-Zo wedding later this month, and Paul (our "Director of Chin-Zo Affairs") needed help creating a wedding invitation for the couple. So I said that sounded fun, and I spent the next three days trying to schedule a time to sit down with Paul. We planned to meet Thursday at 2:00, and when he arrived, he had two Burmese friends with him. At first, I thought they were with him because he was transporting them around town that day, which he does a lot. But then I realized it was a couple - a very young couple - and they were glowing and smiling shyly like soon-to-be... newly weds! "Oh, is this the couple who is getting married?" I asked, and Paul said yes. We laughed and I congratulated them and they thanked me. Then Paul said, "Ok, so you help them make invitation?" Then Paul left, and I was alone with the shy kids. Suddenly, the whole project transformed in my mind from being an impersonal secretarial job to an exciting role of partial-wedding-planner with the happy couple.

The girl is 19, the boy is 22 (his birthday was Wednesday), and they have known each other for a year. The wedding is next weekend - yes, invitations being created one week in advance! All of the American-culture questions (the kind every American girl has answered by the time she's engaged) that I asked the bride were met with sweet naivete: no color scheme yet, no flowers picked out yet, not sure about music, and the wedding party was... well, the whole church and anyone else who wanted to come (at this point - not 30 minutes after we were introduced - I was invited to attend). We looked at some invitation templates, made some unique alterations, and typed in the information. "What time is it going to start?" And the groom answered, "Let's make it... 2:00, ok?" They were both equally excited about the plans and details that started to unfold in our time together, though the bride (of course) was a little more particular about things than the groom.

The funniest thing for them was that I wanted to put the bride's name before the groom's on the invitation. I tried to explain that is the proper way we do it in America, but they laughed and said it would never do. They said that in Burma, you always put the husband first, and since most of the people receiving invitations were Burmese, they would just be confused. So I laid my silly American traditional ideas aside and reminded myself that I was serving Burmese people in America, and if I was in a different country I would want my wedding to be from my own culture, too.

We had a fun afternoon together, and by the time they left I felt like we were old friends. "Ok, see you next weekend!" we said as we parted ways. I can't wait to attend my very first Chin-Zo wedding!

Little Women



This weekend the youth night girls went roller skating and had ice cream sundaes! It was hilariously fun and so special. Our times together have become more and more precious to me, and I find myself loving them deeper, the more I get to know them. They've told me that I'm like their "Momma," because of the way I look out for them and care about them. While that makes me feel old - I'm used to titles more like "sister" or "aunt" - it also makes me feel special. I've never really considered myself particularly maternal before, but when it comes to my girls, I feel like I have strength and courage and love enough to fearlessly fight a lion to rescue them. I want to see them become who God created them to be - to overflow with joy, to live in freedom and grace, to make decisions driven by love and rippling with inspiration, to leave a dent in the universe. "Yeah," I think to myself with a smile, "yeah, I think I could handle being like a momma to them."

I've been thinking this morning about the girls God's put in my life over the years... amazing, beautiful little women, so full of life and love. It seems to be a pattern, and I've been so blessed. They've been girls that have warmed my heart with hugs and help, broken my heart with choices to walk away, challenged me with stories and examples, made me crazy with their decisions that I thought unwise, encouraged me with their faithfulness and courage. We've studied God's word together, baked together, pulled pranks together, prayed for each other, held each other accountable, laughed and cried and really lived life together. They are girls I will stand by and fight for, and they will always be part of my family. Different girls have come in and out of my life for different reasons and seasons...



IVCF Girls' Small Group - Greensboro, 2003



TCF Teen Girls' Bible Study - Winston-Salem, 2010



Now I have a small group of girls from a new generation, from other parts of the world, with different histories than any girls I've loved before. They have their own challenges to overcome, their own passions to channel, their own dreams to persue. I'm so thankful I get to share this part of their lives with them, and I pray that I can watch and be a part of something incredible that God will do in and through them.



I-House Youth Girls' Night - Fort Wayne, 2011

Feeling so loved

This morning was so amazingly cold! You can see that the thermometer in my car said it was -6 degrees F at 9:30am, but the wind chill was more like -25 degrees! Allen County schools were actually closed for the cold weather. But Hannah and I bundled up really good - coats, scarves wrapped up to our noses, mittens and warm shoes - to go out to meet up with a friend at Panera Bread for bagels and hot drinks... which was totally worth braving the negative temperatures! 

In the car, we were listening to and singing loudly one of our favorite praise songs, "Oh, how He loves us!" Especially at this time of year, it is so good for two single girls like us to remember this wonderful truth, that we are loved by God. With cold fingers and warm hearts, we returned home and found a package for me - a pile of valentines from my dear teenagers back home at TCF - Wow, that completely filled my love tank for the day! Thank you to all of you kids for such a special gift!

... I feel so loved...!

Youth love and hugs

Last night was our last youth night for the semester. We gave the kids "Youth Night" t-shirts, and we wrote them personal letters to let them know how much we love them. We did have a Hungry Hippos tournament in the basement, and we played a new version of the mousetrap game, and of course the kids did some homework too... but there seemed to be a special, sweet spirit about the evening. Everyone got along, I don't think there were any fights, and the kids and volunteers played the games together in teams.

Usually, the end of the evening is the most chaotic, trying to corral everyone onto the van with their bags and coats and shoes... once I wave good-bye, I give a big exhausted sigh. But last night, we got all the kids in the living room to give them their gifts, then Jared said, "Ok, everyone on the van!" - and no one moved! It was a beautiful picture, everyone sitting around with their gifts and talking and happy. It hit me that I won't see any of them for four weeks, and suddenly I didn't want to press them to leave... I wanted them to stay!

When they finally got moving, I got a dozen hugs from the kids. Problem was that my body had been really tired and weak all evening, and I couldn't lift my arms to hug them back. I hate when that happens, because I absolutely love giving and getting hugs. But all I could do last night was receive their love. 

I hope they know that I really love them too. I hope they feel Love when they are here with us. Pray that they do, and that they hang on to that Love over the Christmas break.

Many, many love

My favorite international quote of today came from Lian, during our snack break at Women's Club. Hannah has really hit it off with Lian's seven-month-old baby boy, Moi Sang, since she came, and Lian is quite fond of her too. As I talked with Lian today about Hannah, I said, "Yes, she really loves Jesus."

Lian's response was, "Oh, yes, I see... in her..." she gestured a circle around her face, so I offered the English word, "Face?" "Yes, in her face... many, many love.... Love Jesus, love Moi Sang, love Connie..." She proceeded to express how she knows Hannah will be a good mother and that she should have ten children. :) 

But that phrase - no matter how grammatically incorrect it may be - stuck with me: "Many, many love." And she could see it in her face! What a beautiful compliment that brings such glory to God! I bet that's what drew so many people to Jesus - the love in his face, and I hope that's what people see in all of us as followers of Jesus... I hope it's what they see in me. Many, many love.

Packages, packages!

This has been my jackpot week for packages! Every day I have been pleasantly surprised by a new box with my name on it beside my porch door.

First came my mom's package of purple pajamas and pumpkin cookies (which the boys just LOVED)... and tea!

Then came Zoe's handcrafted quilt and pillow set... the material was a pattern of tea cups and tea pots!

Today the box said "From the Vincent Ladies," and contained homemade cookies, some fun crocheted pieces, chocolate, and a tea mug... filled with tea!

Anyone sensing a pattern here? :) My entire room motif will be ruined if I ever turn to drinking coffee!

Thank you to all of you wonderful people for cheering up my week. It was tons of fun to be surprised and get to open new things made or bought just because you were thinking of me - I feel so loved!

Special Delivery with Love from Home

Last night I received my first care package! A shoe box, wrapped securely in duct tape, with my name on the top, contained a tremendously loving and encouraging note from the Malchuks, two boxes of tea, and two tins of classic Wintston-Salem Moravian cookies. The box arrived just at the end of my pizza-and-salad dinner with Pam and Jayne, so I was thrilled to share my hometown treasures with them! Jayne had made a pot of Somolian Chai with cardemom (Wendy, I will bring some back for you), so as we sipped, we broke into one of my cookie tins and ate half the cookies within.

I told the girls about Old Salem, the baking store, and how it is a joy smply to pass the open doorway during the day and smell the baked goods. I told them about the Moravian cookie factory five minutes from my house, where you can watch through the glass as a bunch of women roll out the dough so thin and cut out the different shapes. They were impressed by the flavor and the daintiness of the fragile crisps, and I promised to share with them the Morvian side of my town when they come to visit.

It was good to have such a thoughtful reminder of home, and as I share my cookies with my new friends, I have stories and memories to share too... not just about the history, culture, and place, but about the people who have made it so precious to me - who have really made Winston-Salem my home.

Thank you, Malchuks, for this special gift.