Saturday, May 14, 2011

here, there, anywhere but...

Yesterday I felt anxious and antsy all day, like life was claustrophobic. I wanted to go somewhere - anywhere, I thought - so I burst out of the house.
I looked to the backyard, unimpressed by its nearness and familiarity.
So I took off down the sidewalk - East, as far as it would take me.
I love that about living in the city... there aren't sidewalks in Midway, North Carolina.
Three blocks and ten minutes later, the sidewalk ended.
I looked around for something to make my mini-expedition worthwhile.
A coffee shop, a Dollar Tree, and a paint store.
Still antsy, and a bit miffed that my sidewalk was over, I turned back.
I wanted a bigger adventure, a longer trip, a more exotic destination.
Memphis, Atlanta, Fort Lauderdale, New York, Austin, Los Angeles, Charleston, Chicago.
Everywhere that appealed to me holds someone, or someones, I love.
There was no one I love at that coffee shop, Dollar Tree, or paint store at the end of the sidewalk.

Later in the afternoon, Hannah and I laid out candy and games and music like a lure-trap.
And it worked. One by one, they came.
By the time the sun went down, we were sitting around the living room with a handful of friends.
Eating pizza, singing karaoke, playing Mafia, making jokes, telling stories.
And lots of laughs - the kind that dispell insecurities, create memories, and form special bonds.
In the peaceful quiet of a healthy conversational lull, I realized I wasn't anxious anymore.
Even here in Fort Wayne, I am with people I love.