Ok, so this may sound a bit cheesy to you, but there's this old Twila Paris song that really expresses how I am feeling tonight. So I'm just going to post the lyrics, sign off, have a cup of tea, wipe my eyes again, and try to get some sleep in the midst of all the machine noises and my own wheezing and rattling...
"Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears
They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child
Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet
They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
the warrior is a child..."
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
A different perspective
The other night, I went to church with a lot on my heart and mind. It had been an emotional weekend, and I felt drained and tense with thoughts of the coming days and all I would have to do. During the opening songs of worship, I prayed, "God, if I need to be corrected and challenged, please do that tonight. And if I need to be encouraged that I am doing the right thing, please do that tonight too. You know better than I what I need right now."
After the music, three missionaries were sitting on stools at the front of the room - one who is a full-time servant in Ethiopia, one who had just returned from serving for two months there, and one who is getting ready to go there to serve for six months. As they talked about their experiences, the ministry in Ethiopia, and how God has been preparing each of them, my muscles began to relax and I found myself smiling.
Because in the joy of hearing their stories, it was as if God was saying to me, "It's not about you, my love. It is all about Me, and what I am doing. You only get to see a part of my kingdom work where you are, but I am busy all over the world - I am changing lives and giving hope and filling with love and increasing my kingdom. So tonight, just listen and be reminded of this."
I am so thankful that when I get caught up in my little life and my little problems, God redirects my focus so I can see his bigger plan and purpose.
After the music, three missionaries were sitting on stools at the front of the room - one who is a full-time servant in Ethiopia, one who had just returned from serving for two months there, and one who is getting ready to go there to serve for six months. As they talked about their experiences, the ministry in Ethiopia, and how God has been preparing each of them, my muscles began to relax and I found myself smiling.
Because in the joy of hearing their stories, it was as if God was saying to me, "It's not about you, my love. It is all about Me, and what I am doing. You only get to see a part of my kingdom work where you are, but I am busy all over the world - I am changing lives and giving hope and filling with love and increasing my kingdom. So tonight, just listen and be reminded of this."
I am so thankful that when I get caught up in my little life and my little problems, God redirects my focus so I can see his bigger plan and purpose.
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