There's good news, and there's bad news...

The past week has felt like an internal tug-of-was between Tigger and Eeyore:

I went to the neuro clinic last Friday to get my fourth dose - the final dose of my two-month loading period. The neurosurgeon came in to check on me, too, and he and my neurologist agreed that, while my back was looking much better, it would be a good idea to draw the rest of the fluid out before doing the treatment. They got 70 cc's of fluid off! (That's 12 teaspoons, or 2 fluid ounces, or a standard shot glass, in case you were wondering.) My back felt and looked SO much better, once my camel-hump was gone.

That was the good news.

After that was done, my doctors found that the port/reservoir (the one that was installed, for injecting the medicine) had significantly moved to a different position in my back - placed originally to the left of my spine, it was now on the right side, and was floating further and further east. They became concerned that the tube in my spinal chord had come loose. They had difficulty drawing CSF out. They did not do the injection. They sent me for an X-ray. Over the weekend, I learned that the tubing has coiled up in my lower back, and had pulled further out away from its original location.

That was the bad news.

This must be repaired, if I want to continue the treatments, and that means... another surgery. It's scheduled for next Wednesday. The good news is, my fall break from work is next Wednesday through Friday, so I don't have to miss any days of work for the procedure or healing time; the bad news is, I will be spending my fall break in a hospital and laying flat in the bed for several days, instead of... doing anything else.

A friend asked me the other night if I regret my decision to go through all of this. While I am frustrated and a bit weary, I wouldn't call it regret. If I had known beforehand all of these complications would happen, I probably wouldn't have done it, because I'm not as strong and brave as I'd like to think. But I think that's pretty classic of a lot of things in my life... with so many of my experiences, if God had told or shown me how difficult and painful they would be, I would have refused to be obedient and would have chosen to stay as safe and comfortable as possible. That's why I'm glad he didn't. Those same difficult and painful journeys have become some of the most powerful and beautiful experiences of all. They have led me to meet some remarkable people, learn incredible truths, and see and do things far beyond my craziest plans. God doesn't waste a single ounce - or teaspoon, or cc - of the moments that make up my days. He is able to use and redeem even the scariest, most complicated, most exhausting and hard things, for my benefit and his glory.

And that's the good news.