A morning full of greys and grace

It's 8:45AM and the sun is delayed in rising-and-shining because of persistent grey clouds. The beautiful colors of the leaves outside my window seem dull and grey too, as the wind picks them off the trees one by one and spins them into a pile on the driveway. Raking is a counter-productive sport here. As the wind plays in the leaves it also swings the back screen door open and shut, tricking me into thinking for a moment that I have a surprise guest who just wanted to pop in for a cup of tea. I love those kinds of guests, but they aren't here today. The women woke up about a half hour ago and came downstairs and promptly started the two rice cookers... kind of with the ritual-ness of how Americans make coffee. And so the day begins.

Mom had to leave early this morning. She came up on Saturday to stay for a few days, and we had a really nice time together. I really felt like I needed some time with her, and it was good to have it. But now I feel lonely and homesick, and the world just seems so grey. Starting to count the days til I'm home for Thanksgiving, and wondering why I ever thought I could be so adventurous and brave as to live ten hours away from home and how I'm going to be able to do this for another eight months. I love what I'm doing here, and I love these people, I just wish the world wasn't quite so big and spread out.

I'm praying for grace this morning. I'm praying for God to help me sing his praises, to fill me with his joy and delight, to give me strength and courage to live out his purpose for me today. I have to pray for these things, because I know I'm not strong enough to conjure them up myself, but He is. I am so thankful that I have Jesus to walk through this day with me, and that he is my hope.